It's not Lupus! yay!
by bbvampygrl
Summary: Bones/ House crossover! suckish summary......just read and review!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this is my first crossover, so it probably sucks. also, i had tremendous help from my buds over at fanpop. chel1395,HuddyCrazy1331, ,Huddyadict12,bainmoussant, and especially youngblood!!

i seriously love you guys!!

probably just a one shot btw

disclaimer- I DO NOT OWN BONES OR HOUSE! TEAR

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Bones straightened up off of her couch. Now was not the time to be dozing off; what was wrong with her? Usually during a case Dr. Temperance Brennan was all fits and bursts of productive energy, but not today. Today Brennan had to shove herself off her couch in order to look in the mirror. She gasped at the image that was reflected back at her. This woman had huge purple bags under her eyes, and skin as pale and peaky as snow. Her hair was ragged and losing it's regular shine. Brennan shook herself. The case was getting to her, that's all. Luckily it was almost over with. The murderer, one Andrew Hufflink, had been sentenced to life in prison for the first degree murder of ten year old Emilia Lenk. Emilia had been suffering from Lupus of all things, and had only survived the ordeal with the help of a Dr. House and his team. Just days after returning from the hospital to her home, Emilia had been kidnapped out of her bed, raped, murdered and then dumped into the sewer system of her hometown, Bethesda. Workers had pulled the body out and then it was brought to the Jeffersonian for identification. Booth had found Andrew Hufflink just outside of Bethesda city lines, in his own car, smoking a joint. The brutality and stupidity of the whole crime just astounded Brennan.

At least it was over. Brennan grabbed her lab coat off the back of her desk char and buttoned it up, while simultaneously grabbing the casework and hurrying off to deliver it to her partner, Special agent Seely Booth. As her heels clacked down the long hallway, she was interrupted by Angela who appeared at her arm. She gasped in concern. "My god Sweetie! Are you all right? You look terrible."

Brennan grimaced. "Thanks a lot Ange. And I feel fine. I suspect the case is just getting to me, for I haven't had more than four hours of sleep in approximately two weeks."

"Well Bren, there's only one thing for you to do." Angela had gotten a twinkling in her eye.

"And what's that?"

"Deliver the case files to Booth, go home with him, have a nice relaxing bubble bath, then make sweet passionate love to him under the stars. That'll get your mind off murder."

"Angela!" Brennan was turning red. "Booth is my partner, and nothing more."

Angela smiled. "Whatever you say dear."

Brennan saw her partner's belt buckle glint in the early afternoon sun filtering in from the windows and called to him, sending Angela away with a quick smack of her hand. "Booth! I have the case files!" she smiled and hurried up to him.

Booth smiled as well, reaching out to give his Bones the customary "guy hug", but stopped abruptly. "What's wrong?" she inquired.

"You look terrible." He stated matter of factly.

Brennan sighed again. This was getting out of hand. "I'm just tired is al— " she broke off. Suddenly the room was spinning as the floor rushed up to meet her. Vaguely she heard Booth shouting for help. Then she felt his warm hands gently shaking her. "Bones! Bones! Temperance, are you all right? Can you hear me Bones?" drawing in a shaky breath she managed to get out, "Dr. House," before completely passing out.

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Cuddy was in her office doing paperwork, as usual, when House stormed in, as usual. Before Cuddy could say anything, House yelled, "Who is that crazy hot chick??"

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "It would be helpful if you could be more specific. I know plenty of 'crazy hot chicks' as you so eloquently put it." House paused.

"The one who just rolled in here on a gurney, with that man following along like a love sick pit bull. She looked familiar."

"Well that's probably because you've read all of her books. That's Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian Institute. Oh and, that love sick pit bull is her boyfriend-erm-partner, Special Agent Seely Booth. She came in after" here she opened a case file on her desk, "she collapsed while working on a case. A rash was found on her lower back, she hasn't had decent sleep in weeks and she has a current temperature of 102.4. She was unresponsive to general antibiotics." Cuddy was interested in the woman as well. As she was carted in to the ER, she had been conscious and arguing with the man called Booth to let her leave.

House rubbed his hands together. "Could be Lupus." He said, with a trace of a smile. "then again, she's hot. So what do I have to lose? Maybe she'll sign my books!" with that he grabbed the file out of Cuddy's hand and left her standing, dumbstruck.

House knocked on the door of the woman's room but didn't wait for an answer before barging in. "Dr. Brennan is it?" like he didn't already know. The woman in the hospital bed looked up. She was thin and beautiful, even though her skin was very pale and sickly looking, and a huge knot was rising on her forehead, presumably from where she had fallen. House smiled. He knew exactly why the good Dr. was sick, but decided to wring them along for his own amusement.

Brennan looked up. "Yes that is my name. Though I gather you already knew that, judging by the file in your hand, Dr. House"

The silent man in the corner finally spoke up, thrusting out his hand. "Special Agent Seely Booth of the FBI. What wrong with Bones here?"

House put on a sardonic smile. "Bones? How-original. Dr. Brennan may have a disease called Lupus, but I doubt it."

Booth growled. "How immature," thought House. "He really is her guard dog."

Brennan sighed. "Shut up Booth. Don't be ridiculous. Dr. House, do you remember Emilia Lenk? She was ten years old, and came to you with Lupus about six months ago."

House grinned again. This relationship was fascinating. The man called Booth was clearly salivating over her, and Dr. Brennan had no inclination. She may be a brilliant forensic anthropologist and writer but she was blind. "Yes Dr. Brennan I do remember Elise." Brennan was about the correct him on the name when he cut her off. "But, as it's already been established that you do not, in fact have Lupus, and this girl was not related to you, I fail to see why you ask me."

Booth rocketed out of his chair. "I'm a little testy doctor, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to Bones like that. **Emilia**Lenk was found raped and murdered by a pothead scumbag just a few weeks ago. So forgive me if I don't like your attitude."

"And I, Agent Booth, have a cane, so forgive me if I am not intimidated by your bad-cop routine."

Brennan interrupted the fight before Booth got out his gun and shot Dr. House. "I'm sorry doctor. I just thought you might want to know. I'm working on improving my people skills." House smiled at that, "and my partner gets a little protective over me. I suspect it's because we've worked together for so long." She paused. "How long have you known Lisa, Dr. House?"

House's mocking smile fell off his face at that one. "Party pants? How do you know her?"

Brennan couldn't help but snore at that. "Lisa and I have know each other for a few years. I dated her brother in High school. After I broke his nose, we lost touch, but then she showed up at one of my lectures in DC a couple months ago. We went out for coffee, and we had a long conversation about you."

House said, "You broke her brother's nose? why did you engage in that undoubtedly pleasing activity?"

"Ryan said 'Tempe, you have great yahoos.' Although I was not sure as to what exactly he was referring to, he said it while staring at my breasts so I got the general idea."

House and Booth both started laughing, but stopped as they noticed the other. House said, "What did you and Mommy talk about on your coffee outing?"

Bones looked confused, but answered nonetheless. "if by mommy you mean Lisa, we talked about many things. The fact that you're an ass, but a valuable asset to the hospital because of your brilliant diagnoses, as well as the fact that she obviously has the warm for you."

Booth snorted. "Bones! It's 'the hots for you' and I'm pretty sure that was something personal."

Brennan turned to him and answered, "Lisa said that it was obvious that they each wanted to jump each other, but I should not divulge the fact that House is the love of her li—oops!"

House ignored that comment and sat by Dr Brennan. "Tell you what. I know exactly what's wrong with you. However, I will only diverge that top secret information in you do a few things for me. First, sign all of my copies of your novels, and second," he leaned down to whisper the rest in her ear. When he straightened up again, Brennan was beet red.

"Is there no way out of this?"

"None whatsoever."

"Fine. I will do as you wish. However, I ask for something in return." She beckoned House over again and whispered something to him. As he straightened up and nodded, she looked pleased. "Now, what's wrong with me? I need to get back to work."

As House wheeled the ultrasound machine over and put on latex gloves he said, "I'm afraid this parasite is going to make you take it easy for a while. Pull up your shirt."

There was an audible gasp from Booth as realization hit both him and his partner. Brennan went pale, but did as Dr. House asked. As he sprayed goo all over her flat abs, House smiled. This would throw her for a loop. A small blob appeared on the screen, moving with a steady heartbeat. "Congratulations. It's a girl."

Brennan pulled her shirt down and swallowed. "Dr. House, if you can give me a moment alone. Use the opportunity to hold up your end of the deal." House nodded and Booth began to follow. "Stay Booth, please." He turned back. When the door shut, Brennan beckoned Booth over. "Sit."

"Bones? What the hell. Who's the- dad?" Booth was visibly shaken.

"Booth?" Brennan was using her little girl voice. "Please just listen." With that, she told her story. It had happened late one night when she was really lonely. She was going to call him, but Booth had been on a date with some random girl. Brennan had called a friend. Chuck was his name. Chuck came over. Brennan was crying. Chuck came over to comfort her, but it wasn't the same. Then, he had gotten physical forcing her to oblige. Being caught off guard and needing a human being, she couldn't do anything but oblige. After, he just left her there, on the couch, and exited. She had come to work the next day, like nothing was wrong. That was a couple months ago.

Brennan paused to look at Booth. His chocolate brown eyes were boring into hers. "I'm so sorry Booth. I should've told you. When- when Chuck did that, well, I wished it was- well, you." She was about to continue……. But Booth's lips were crushing hers into blissful oblivion.

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House again entered Cuddy's office. "Sexy scientist lady is fine."

Cuddy turned around. "That was fast. What wrong with her?"

House paused. "She's pregnant. It's a girl parasite."

There was a pause and Cuddy's face contorted in pain, before settling into a smile. "Good for Tempe. She deserves it." Then she sat down heavily behind her desk grasping the edge for support. House moved closer.

"I didn't know you knew the good doctor."

Cuddy looked up. "Oh yes. I suppose she told you everything, in that awkward but endearing way of hers." a small smile graced her face. "She never was subtle."

House moved even **closer, **so that he was almost on top of Cuddy. "The only thing she said was that we had the hots for each other. Oh and the fact that I'm the love of your life." Cuddy spluttered incoherently and House went on, "We made a deal. She had to kiss Agent Booth, and I had to do this." He threw his cane to the ground captured Lisa Cuddy into his arms and began to give her the best kiss either of them had ever experienced. It would be a while before either of them got up the resolve to stop.

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Brennan was curled up with Booth in the hospital bed when a shaggy looking Dr. House meandered in, several hours later.

"looks like we both held up our ends of the deal." He said. Brennan gestured to a stack of here novels.

"Yes. It looks like we did. Thank you. I just have one more request." She paused, and Booth nudged her to continue. "I am not ready to be a mother. Maybe at some point, but not know. I do, however, know someone who would be a perfect mother now. I will have my baby at this hospital. However, when it is determined that my little girl is healthy," here she paused again for a breath, "I would love to give her to Lisa Cuddy. I know it's her dream."

House's mouth was agape. For once he had no snappy comebacks. "That is wonderful. I will get her so you can tell her yourself." Then he exited.

When Lisa Cuddy heard the news out of an old friend's mouth, she broke down. Brennan, for once showing tact and good people skills, motioned her over. After wrapping her arms around the sobbing woman in a tender hug, Brennan whispered, "You deserve it Lisa. You will be the best mother any little girl ever had." Glancing at House she added, "I suspect you won't be alone either."

Booth joined in the hug and whispered to Brennan, "I love you, Brainy Smurf."

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REVIEW!! FEED THE RAVENOUS PLOT BUNNIES!3


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: this chapter was accomplished with the brilliant brain food provided by CSINaomi og ! props for her!!

A/N: also, there might be one or two more chapter's after this, I am not sure.

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Booth opened the door to the SUV for Brennan. She climbed in and gingerly buckled herself in. as Booth put the keys in the ignition and started out of the PPTH parking lot, all was silent. About 20 minutes into the drive, Brennan spoke. "This thing," she gestured in the general area of her stomach, "will be inside me for seven more months. What are we going to tell everyone at the lab?" she wasn't necessarily panicky, but she dreaded the thought that her baby would take her away from her precious work.

Without taking his eyes off the road, Booth answered, with a trace of a smile, "Well, you know Angela's going to think it's mine," he paused to admire Brennan's tinkling laugh before continuing, "so the only way you are going to avoid that is to tell the truth. Immediately, I should think, as she will probably be able to detect a glow or some crap like that."

Brennan smiled, "You're probably right. But I won't worry about Zach until the last moment. It would probably distract him. I suppose you are going to tell Cam."

Booth finally looked Brennan in the eye. "Only if you want me too."

Brennan looked back gratefully. "That would make it so much easier."

Booth quietly played his free hand over Brennan's. They both smiled, and then rode the rest of the way back in a comfortable silence.

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Cuddy was drifting through the day on a cloud. House was an ass, as usual, but she thought that there was a subtle sparkle in his eyes that had been absent just the day before. "A baby girl." She sighed to herself. Cuddy just couldn't imagine what had brought the decision on her friend, but it brought her unbelievable joy nonetheless. Joy. That was the perfect name for her future baby girl. She was about to pick up the phone and dial Tempe for some immature squealing, but then stopped as House entered the office.

"You picked out a name yet?" this said as he perched on the edge of her desk, "shopped for baby clothes, picked out a college, painted the nursery?" Cuddy smacked him on the butt.

"House! It's only been a day since I got the news! Of course I haven't picked out her college. That's saved for at least the second week. And I do have a nursery in my house, thought right now it's just an empty guest bedroom." Teasingly she perched on House's lap, careful not to knock him off balance. Putting her lips close to his, but not allowing any contact she continued, "I thought it would be fun to decorate it together." Without pausing for a reaction, she kissed him, not really caring if anyone saw. It was about time that she had some fun with a man.

After what seemed like forever, House broke away, smiling. "Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. I am a cripple; unlike you, I need air." He grunted a little as Cuddy jumped off his lap. "As to the little girl's name, mind enlightening me?"

Cuddy laughed. "Only if you agree to decorate the nursery with me."

"Fine. If there's sex involved."

"There just might be." A mischievous look came into Cuddy's eyes as she saw House's unbelieving expression. "Ok, so there definitely will be. But not till the paint dries. The baby's name is…Joy."

House was about to say something smart-alecky, but stopped. "Cuddy."

She looked defensive. "What? I think it's a perfectly appropriate," House interrupted her.

"I think it's perfect." Before she could say anything, he continued. "Tomorrow we decorate the goddamned nursery. It's a date." Then he practically flew out the door.

Cuddy thought that hell had frozen over. House had actually been relatively nice to her, with a limit on the asinine comments! She smiled as she settled back in her chair, while thinking about her Joy.

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Brennan and Booth walked into the lab. Booth went off to talk to Cam while Brennan cornered Angela outside her office. "Ange, can you come here a sec? I have something I need to talk to you about." She grabbed Angela's arm, firmly, but not hurtfully, and pulled her inside the office.

"Sweetie! Are you all better? That was a really scary faint! I tried to come along but the paramedics wouldn't let me! Booth had to flash his badge to come along." Angela's eyes were full of concern and worry, which got marginally less as Brennan was quick to reassure her.

"Oh no Ange it's ok. It was nothing serious. I'm just, well, let's just say I'm uh- going-to-have-a-baby." She said the last words in a rush, as if saying them faster would make them less of a shock on Angela. That particular endeavor was a complete failure. Angela was incoherently squealing and jumping up and down like a little girl. After about five minutes she was calmed down sufficiently enough to stay in her seat and participate in a normal conversation. She put her hand on Brennan's stomach and cooed, "hey there little baby." Then she looked up. "Oh Bren, I have so many questions! Is it a boy, what are you going to name it? Who's the dad? Oh its Booth's isn't it! I knew it; I just knew it all along! How far along are you?" she took a deep breath and was ready to dive back into it, but Brennan stopped it.

"Angela, stop for a second." She smiled, "It's a girl, I'm a little over two months, and no, Booth is not the dad. I promise." Angela looked crestfallen.

"Then who?"She asked, a little whiney.

"Ange, I am going to need you to bear with me for a while. It's a long story." She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and retold the same story to her best friend that she had relayed to Booth. When she got to the part where she was all alone on the couch after words, tears started to fall down her cheeks and she couldn't go on. Angela, who was teary-eyed herself, immediately wrapped her best friend in a hug.

"Oh Bren. Why didn't you tell me? I could've, I don't know, comforted you or something! Best friends talk to each other." Angela looked shaken.

Brennan returned the hug with even more force. Through her tears she said, "I know Ange, and I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I really didn't want to worry you. After a while I could forget. I can compartmentalize very well, you know." They pulled away. "One more thing. After the baby is born, I am not keeping it."

Angela gasped. "But why? Brennan, you would be a wonderful mother! And we would all help you, especially Booth." Angela couldn't comprehend this turn of events.

"I would love to have a baby, but not right now; this is not the right stage in my life. I have no doubt that you and Booth would provide tremendous help, but I really don't think that a baby would fit well into my lifestyle. Besides, I have found the perfect mother for her, who I suspect, is floating away on cloud eight right now." At that Angela couldn't help but agree.

With a smile she said, "It's cloud nine, hon. Ignoring that, who's the lucky lady that get's to have your angel?"

Brennan cleared her throat. "You remember the woman who I had coffee with a few months back?"

Angela nodded hesitantly. "Lisa what's-her-name."

Brennan smiled. "Lisa Cuddy. She's a very nice woman. She works at the hospital I was taken to. Her dearest wish is to have a baby. She's been trying for the longest time, but nothing has worked. She would be the perfect mother, plus she has a very nice ass of a boyfriend, who I suspect, is going to secretly love this little girl."

Angela smiled too. "Well, it seems as if you have put a lot of thought into this, so I won't object. I will just make sure that no harm comes to this little girl while she's floating around in your stomach."

"Angela, you know babies don't 'float around' they are attached by," Angela laughed; interrupting her with,

"I know sweetie. Just a joke."

They walked out together, only to see a weary looking Booth walking towards them. He surprised everybody with a quick peck on the cheek to Brennan. She turned slightly pink, but he didn't notice. "I just communicated the news to Cam. She took it well I thought, considering the circumstances." He sighed. "She sent her best wishes towards the little tyke, but she doesn't fully understand why you won't keep her."

Brennan tilted her head to the side. "Why doesn't she tell me this herself?"

Booth laughed at her quizzical expression. "She's doing a quick autopsy on a floater found in the Potomac." As Brennan perked up at the thought of a case, Booth went on, "but it's open and shut. A little boy fell into the river after running away from home a couple weeks ago. His parents reported him missing, and he was identified by a chain around his neck, as well as dental records. They didn't even need you."

Angela interjected. "I have to tell Hodgins the news. Bye!" she gave Brennan a hug and hurried off to greet the bug man.

"Booth," Brennan sighed, "I'm getting a craving for pie."

Booth grabbed her waste and said gratefully, "I was hoping you'd say something like that. I guess pregnancy has its perks after all! Now you like pie!"

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Cuddy was standing in the soon to be nursery, waiting for House. As she knew that he would be late, she was passing the time by staring at different colored paint splotches on the walls. There was the standard pink, and several shades of purple, green, and blue. She just couldn't decide. She was about to give up when she heard the familiar grumble of a motorcycle engine stuttering to a stop outside her house.

Just as she was about to open the front door, a disheveled House barged in. "Hello my dear party pants. How are you today?" he looked to be in very high spirits, which Cuddy suspected was due to a high intake of vicodin.

"Come in, come in!" Cuddy was in a hurry to get into the nursery, as it had quickly become her favorite space in the house.

House grumbled, "Tell me there's not stairs. I cannot handle stairs right now."

Cuddy rolled her eyes while guiding him to the back of the house. "There are no stairs you lazy bum."

She opened the door to the nursery just wide enough to reveal the paint splotches. "House, I have a dilemma." They walked inside the room together, and House stared critically at each individual sampling of color. After several minutes of silence, he turned to Cuddy and said gravely, "Well Lisa, you know what you have to do."

Cuddy stared at him. "Ummmm…..no I really don't."

House replied deadpan, "Eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

Cuddy groaned good naturedly groaned. "House. I need you to be serious. I called you over hear to help me get this room in shape for Joy."

House leaned over to her. "I am being serious! That's what I do whenever I need to make a seriously important decision." Pausing to whisper, "do it."

Cuddy sighed, "Fine. I'll just be a child like you." She then sang to herself, pointing her finger in time with the notes. On the last, "it." Her finger came to rest above a shade of lavender paint. "I love it!"

"See! I'm always right."

"Now we should get to painting the whole room with a base, so that the lavender will stick." She started hurrying around dumping base on to a plastic tray and getting out several rollers and paintbrushes. "I've already laid down tarp, so you shouldn't get any on the carpet. Plus these are my painting clothes so I don't have to worry about that. How's your cane?"

"Fine. It's paint proof." He answered distractedly. House had just noticed what Cuddy was wearing, and he whistled in appreciation. Being away from the hospital, Cuddy was wearing and old, white, paint splattered tee shirt, paired with low riding dark washed jeans.

Cuddy saw the direction of House's appraising eyes, and shoved a roller into his hand. "Stop staring at my ass. Paint. Now."

House laughed, "But mommy!"

"Shut up, house." Then, they both began to slather the white base coat on the walls, singing 'Dancing Queen' with lots of gusto on both of their parts. Suddenly, cuddy was splattered with paint. "What the-"

She looked up to see House grinning like a naughty child. "Watch it." He looked up; made sure he had eye contact, and deliberately splattered her again. With laughing outrage Cuddy yelled, "This means WAR!" she freshly coated her paintbrush with ammo, and started along winded paint war with House. About half an hour passed, full of screaming and groping and paint. Finally, both participants of the battle called a truce and ending up and the floor laughing.

Pausing, House scooted over to an exhausted Cuddy and said, "You look so damn hot. I know the paint's not dry yet but-"

Cuddy silenced him with a nod and a smile. She helped House up and led him down the hallway to her room. When the door closed, they were both laughing with twinkles in their eyes.


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